Teaching my girls to read is one of my greatest joys in life. I love, love, love to read. And I love, love, love reading to my children. There is nothing better than a rainy day and a basket of books to share. I wanted to share a little about the different journeys to "fluent reader" that my daughters have taken - because the path has looked different for all of them, and I didn't expect that!
I learned to read when I was very young, and from my mom's stories, I learned without much assistance. It just came naturally. So, I think I was caught off guard to discover that reading is very much a process of learning - not an automatic skill.
When I first began to ponder homeschooling options, I decided quickly that clear phonics was my preferred route, rather than sight-word teaching. Funny thing? I didn't really know phonics! :) I had to learn the sounds of the seventy basic phonograms, and I am still muddling through some of the more complicated, extra ones. I ended up trying several different programs, reading many books, and eventually learning that the process and the methods need to look a little different for every kiddo.
With Elisa, I used primarily The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading. This book by Jessie Wise has scripted, short lessons which are phonics-based but contained enough of a story and game component to keep my Ellie-girl interested. She loved reading stories with Mom, so she was excited to learn - but it came painstakingly. It was hard work! Decoding was a challenge, but her progress was steady. Sometime near the end of kindergarten, Ellie had a breakthrough. She realized that all those phonics drills and sentences were teaching her to read! She grabbed a chapter book off the shelf and read most of Sarah, Plain and Tall to herself when we thought she was sleeping. Ta-da! She could read.
Sadie was my girl who just wanted to snuggle and hear Mama read. She didn't want to learn letter sounds. She didn't want to practice sounding out words. Learning her first 26 phonograms took a long time, and it was a struggle. The Ordinary Parent's Guide was a flop for her. She needed the motivation of complete stories, and something a bit more "colorful" than those scripted lessons in black and white. Enter All About Reading. We used the first two levels of All About Reading during late Pre-K and Kindergarten. They are fantastic, holistic, fun, and have super cute (though still black and white) story books, along with simple games to play. Sadie made slow progress - eventually learning to decode simple words. Often, I would help her out by reading one page, then having her read the next. She needed that reward of listening to Mommy instead of struggling through a whole story on her own. Late in kindergarten, a friend from our co-op shared that her sister (in New Mexico) had just published a series of Bible readers. Sadie loves the Bible - so I thought they might boost her excitement a bit. We followed the recommendations to read each story several days in a row, and somehow, the combination of repetition and her love for God's Word worked a little miracle. Her fluency dramatically improved, and she began to take pride (and joy) in reading out loud. By the time we finished the seven book series (found at Me and Thee Studios online) Sadie was reading well. She entered first grade as an avid reader - reading well above grade level. She still prefers picture books to chapter books, though, because she has such a sensitive little heart and can't handle anything intense or scary.
Raina just turned five. She was jumping at the bit to start a phonics program, and, because I thought she might go to kindergarten at JHCA, I was eager to teach her early reading skills at home during this pre-K year. I wanted to have the joy of seeing that little light turn on. So, I set a goal of teaching her to read this year. It turned out that I didn't need to set that goal - because she already had her heart set on accomplishing it. We started with All About Reading and quickly raced through Level One. By the time I started Level Two with her, she could sit down and just read the storybooks - fluently and with ease. There was very little of that halting, painstaking, slow decoding. She just started to read. Because my older kiddos' learned much more incrementally, that still amazes me. Today, she can pick up chapter books from big sisters' shelves (she loves Ramona and the new Amelia Bedelias) and read a chapter without much help. She just loves it. Like a duck to water, that one. She is actually going to stay at home with me for kindergarten while the older two continue at the Classical Academy, and I am so grateful.
My three girls are so different! I think I expected reading to be a bit more formulaic that it has proved in our family. The resources we have used have been wonderful - but the journeys to reading fluency were so different. If you are teaching little ones to read - my encouragement is to enjoy reading to them as much as you can, trusting that a love for stories will eventually grow into reading ability. For most kiddos, learning phonics is key to being a proficient reader - but every child will learn at a different pace, and different tools might spark their interests. I did not expect repetition to be so key for my Sadie; in fact I steered away from it initially because I wanted her to be decoding phonics, not memorizing words! Do what works for your children! Make the everyday reading lesson non-negotiable (if you are at that point), but bracket it with lots of snuggles, stories, and praise. Make tea, nestle close, and pray for patience and grace - because, honestly, even though reading with our kids is a delight, it can also be a challenge. Listening to a new reader sound out consonant-vowel-consonant words for twenty minutes can feel sort of tortuous without a dose of supernatural patience. It takes a bit of intentionality to revel in the process and not feel frustrated by a lack of progress. Purpose and pray to enjoy it - whether they are advanced or perhaps a bit uninterested.
Happy Reading!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Friday, May 15, 2015
A Few Good Reads
I always have a stack of books I am working through, and I am sure you do, too. Right now, I am making my way through a few leftovers I bought with Christmas money, a couple re-reads, and a couple I bought off Christianbook.com when their bargain bin was on sale (making a few slightly imperfect books less that 4$ each).
I always enjoy hearing what others are reading, so I thought I'd share my stack with you.
I always enjoy hearing what others are reading, so I thought I'd share my stack with you.
- Sally Clarkson, Own Your Life. It's no secret that I feel a strong sense of kinship with Sally Clarkson. Her books have shaped so much of my philosophy of parenting, and she is such a gentle-spirited, wise lady. While Own Your Life is not my favorite of her many books, it is still wonderful. My husband took issue with the title, because he said (and I agree), "we are not supposed to own our lives. We're supposed to surrender them to Christ." The truth is, Sally's thesis is actually that taking ownership of lives and choosing to live intentionally in every realm is done by first submitting to the Lord. Her encouragement is choose to live with bold faith and deep intention - to not allow our lives to be wasted. It's a great book that goes beyond her messages on motherhood to encompass all stages of life.
- Gloria Furman, Treasuring Christ When your Hands are Full. I love, love, love this book. Sometimes I read a book on motherhood, and, instead of encouraging me, I feel weighed down by the heavy load of all I "ought" to be doing. Have you been there? Gloria doesn't try to tell you how to be a good mama. Instead, she focuses on how the gospel message intersects with each and every motherhood challenge. She is refreshingly real and honest about the messes of daily life with little ones - and she points mothers to Christ, who is supreme over every challenge or disaster.
- Serene Allison and Pearl Barrett, Trim Health Mama. A few friends have been raving about this book, so I decided I'd better check it out. I am pretty cautious when it comes to nutrition books - because I know it is easy to jump on the bandwagon of a certain fad and then discover that the research was wrong and that a more balanced approach is wiser. Also - my husband strongly discourages major changes in our family's eating. I have tried over the years to make changes in certain areas, but I have learned that I best honor him when I balance healthy, whole-food meals with tasty treats and moderate amounts of fats and sugar. This book is a balanced and humorous approach to eating wisely while still incorporating every food group. I am actually thoroughly enjoying it!
- John MacArthur, The Silent Shepherd. I greatly appreciate MacArthur's theology and I love using his study Bible to help me through tough passages of Scripture. This book on the ministry of the Holy Spirit is helpful and sound... but I have to admit that if I read it in bed, I fall asleep. :)
- The Duggars, A Love that Multiplies. We don't have TV, so I am not a Duggar follower. But, I think Michelle Duggar is an amazing mama, and, as our family grows, I feel like I need to glean from the organizational tips and tricks of women who manage large families well. Five kiddos is a small family compared to theirs, but it seems big as I ponder the chaos that already consumes our home at times. This book was an easy read, full of personal stories and lots of wisdom about handing life's challenges with patience and grace. I want to read their first book, now, because I think it has more of the practical tidbits I was looking for.
- Francis Chan, You and Me Forever. Erik and I have been reading through this one simultaneously. As always, Chan approaches his topic with an eternal perspective. Marriage is not meant to be just enjoyed; it is meant to display the Gospel. We are still near the beginning, but I am excited about studying and growing together.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
The Gift of Submission
My husband is wonderful. Have I ever mentioned that? :) He is a godly, honorable man with strength and integrity, self-discipline, courage, and just plain smarts. He is compassionate and caring, and I am so thankful to be married to him. Submission to such a man usually comes easily. Our goals and visions tend to be aligned, and it is easy for us to agree on both the big-picture decisions and the nitty-gritty day to day ones. In ten years of marriage, we have found our preferences bending to one another - which makes the daily decision making even simpler.
But, what happens when we don't agree? When our thoughts and hearts are totally in discord, when the way we process a particular decision is completely opposing? What then?
Recently, this happened. I am going to be careful not to share the details of our decision-making, because I know I could easily find myself trying to garner support for my preference while degrading Erik's arguments. And I want to honor him in every way as I share a process that I am learning and growing through. Right now. So... suffice it to say, the decision that halted us in our typically unified steps was a biggie. One about our kiddos, and our long-term vision for our family. We talked, and I cried. And we talked some more, and I cried some more. And weeks went by, and it was crunch time. I felt so clearly that the Lord was leading us in one direction. And Erik disagreed. Unflinchingly.
Finally, on the night when we had to make this decision, I said, "Honey, we are not going to reach consensus on this. We are so far apart. It is time for me to step back and just let you decide. You are the head of our household and I have to trust your leadership. I have to submit."
So, I curled up in a ball and wept while Erik forged my signature on a document he didn't want to make me sign (yup, I just admitted that).
A couple of weeks passed, and we didn't discuss the decision again - until a second document was due. He hadn't changed his mind, and, even though my will was submitted to his, my heart was also unchanged. I had (and still have) no peace about the decision. I was in turmoil and heartache as he continued to move forward.
So - what do you do? The question I have found myself asking and praying about in the last weeks is, "Lord, how do I submit to a decision I disagree with in a way that strengthens our marriage rather than tears it down?"
I am still praying that. Daily. The Lord may turn my heart and I may see that my husband's leadership was spot on - that he was bravely following what he knew to be right, and I was wrong. Or, it may be that, eventually, Erik will decide that I was right, and he'll take measures to back up and alter the course. I don't know what the future holds. But, from a clear, biblical command, I have a job to do. And that is to lovingly submit to my husband as unto the Lord.
I was thinking this through the act of submission, and talking with a sweet friend, and she said, "Isn't it a gift of God's grace that He commands us to submit? I mean, what if he hadn't? We aren't going to always agree with our husbands. And, in those times that we don't, someone has to back down. It's so gracious of God that He made it clear whose role that is! He saved us so much heartache and fuss by just delineating that for us in His Word."
She's so right. It is a gift that the Lord outlined our roles. It is a gift that He made a clear pathway for us through conflict. It isn't easy - but, truthfully, the greater weight is on our husbands, isn't it? They pull a heavy load of responsibility by getting to be the ultimate decision-makers. We are called to follow, and we are covered by the protection of our husbands and the Lord.
I remember reading once that "the good feelings don't always come in the same package as the right answer." I am experiencing that. I know the right answer and I am living it - but I am still heartbroken and in turmoil. The peace hasn't come, yet. But, it will. If the Lord's desire for wives is submission - then He will honor our marriages when we do.
One thing I found I needed to do was to share honestly with Erik. I needed him to know that I was still struggling. I felt like this decision was a wedge between us because he had set himself so firmly against the desires of my heart, and against what I felt was God's best for our family. I told him that I didn't want to maintain that wedge - but I also didn't know how to break through it. When I gently shared that with him, I think the wedge cracked in two.
So, how do I submit in a way that builds up our marriage? Honesty. Prayer (and not just prayer that he will change his mind!). Reaching out through acts of service (a favorite meal, a back-rub, a pretty nightie pulled out from the dusty recesses of a dresser drawer :) ). I can submit with a hard heart - or I can submit with a soft one.
I can see the Lord's command as a burden, or I can embrace it as a gift. When you face one of these inevitable times - I pray that reminder will help you, too. Our story doesn't have an ending yet. I can't tell you the ways God blessed our family because I submitted to hard decision. But I know that He would not be able to bless us if I chose to disobey His Word.
So here's to glad submission! Even when it's hard.
But, what happens when we don't agree? When our thoughts and hearts are totally in discord, when the way we process a particular decision is completely opposing? What then?
Recently, this happened. I am going to be careful not to share the details of our decision-making, because I know I could easily find myself trying to garner support for my preference while degrading Erik's arguments. And I want to honor him in every way as I share a process that I am learning and growing through. Right now. So... suffice it to say, the decision that halted us in our typically unified steps was a biggie. One about our kiddos, and our long-term vision for our family. We talked, and I cried. And we talked some more, and I cried some more. And weeks went by, and it was crunch time. I felt so clearly that the Lord was leading us in one direction. And Erik disagreed. Unflinchingly.
Finally, on the night when we had to make this decision, I said, "Honey, we are not going to reach consensus on this. We are so far apart. It is time for me to step back and just let you decide. You are the head of our household and I have to trust your leadership. I have to submit."
So, I curled up in a ball and wept while Erik forged my signature on a document he didn't want to make me sign (yup, I just admitted that).
A couple of weeks passed, and we didn't discuss the decision again - until a second document was due. He hadn't changed his mind, and, even though my will was submitted to his, my heart was also unchanged. I had (and still have) no peace about the decision. I was in turmoil and heartache as he continued to move forward.
So - what do you do? The question I have found myself asking and praying about in the last weeks is, "Lord, how do I submit to a decision I disagree with in a way that strengthens our marriage rather than tears it down?"
I am still praying that. Daily. The Lord may turn my heart and I may see that my husband's leadership was spot on - that he was bravely following what he knew to be right, and I was wrong. Or, it may be that, eventually, Erik will decide that I was right, and he'll take measures to back up and alter the course. I don't know what the future holds. But, from a clear, biblical command, I have a job to do. And that is to lovingly submit to my husband as unto the Lord.
I was thinking this through the act of submission, and talking with a sweet friend, and she said, "Isn't it a gift of God's grace that He commands us to submit? I mean, what if he hadn't? We aren't going to always agree with our husbands. And, in those times that we don't, someone has to back down. It's so gracious of God that He made it clear whose role that is! He saved us so much heartache and fuss by just delineating that for us in His Word."
She's so right. It is a gift that the Lord outlined our roles. It is a gift that He made a clear pathway for us through conflict. It isn't easy - but, truthfully, the greater weight is on our husbands, isn't it? They pull a heavy load of responsibility by getting to be the ultimate decision-makers. We are called to follow, and we are covered by the protection of our husbands and the Lord.
I remember reading once that "the good feelings don't always come in the same package as the right answer." I am experiencing that. I know the right answer and I am living it - but I am still heartbroken and in turmoil. The peace hasn't come, yet. But, it will. If the Lord's desire for wives is submission - then He will honor our marriages when we do.
One thing I found I needed to do was to share honestly with Erik. I needed him to know that I was still struggling. I felt like this decision was a wedge between us because he had set himself so firmly against the desires of my heart, and against what I felt was God's best for our family. I told him that I didn't want to maintain that wedge - but I also didn't know how to break through it. When I gently shared that with him, I think the wedge cracked in two.
So, how do I submit in a way that builds up our marriage? Honesty. Prayer (and not just prayer that he will change his mind!). Reaching out through acts of service (a favorite meal, a back-rub, a pretty nightie pulled out from the dusty recesses of a dresser drawer :) ). I can submit with a hard heart - or I can submit with a soft one.
I can see the Lord's command as a burden, or I can embrace it as a gift. When you face one of these inevitable times - I pray that reminder will help you, too. Our story doesn't have an ending yet. I can't tell you the ways God blessed our family because I submitted to hard decision. But I know that He would not be able to bless us if I chose to disobey His Word.
So here's to glad submission! Even when it's hard.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Prayer, Part Two
As I pray through the scripted prayer for my kiddos that I shared a week or so ago, I also pray through a second script for myself. I can't mother my children well without the equipping of the Holy Spirit, so the second part of my "mama's prayers" is for the Lord to mold and shape me to be a mama after His pattern.
Dear Abba Father, Papa who created the world and knows my heart,
Thank you for the gifts you have given me in my beautiful children. They belong to you - you who knit them together and loves them so much more than I ever could. Thank you for entrusting their precious lives and hearts to this frail mama.
Lord, I ache to be the best mom my little ones could have. I long to be a gentle-spirited, loving mama whose teaching and training comes from your heart.
Today, Lord, help me to lean on your strength, to give you my heart, lay down my brokenness, and receive your grace. Help me, please, to be the mom you want me to be - through your Spirit.
Help me to delight in my little ones. To take JOY in them. To laugh with them, to love them utterly, just as they are. To nurture them with tenderness and whole-hearted thankfulness. Help me to love deeper when they are most unlovable. Help me to serve my children, to lay down my self-serving tendencies and give them all of me.
Help me to reach their hearts - to know them. Help me to guide them to your throne of grace.
Grant me wisdom to disciple them from your word and to know how and when correction, instruction, and discipline are needed. Help me to dazzle them with your great love - and to take every opportunity to remind them of your gospel. Help me to be soft of speech, gentle in spirit, affirming in my words, affectionate in my touch, and firm in my resolve.
Lord, this job is bigger than me, and I need you every moment of the day. Help me to remember that, too, and seek you often throughout the day. Help me to look for evidences of your goodness and mercy sprinkled throughout the mess, the chaos and the noise.
I love you, Jesus.
Amen.
Dear Abba Father, Papa who created the world and knows my heart,
Thank you for the gifts you have given me in my beautiful children. They belong to you - you who knit them together and loves them so much more than I ever could. Thank you for entrusting their precious lives and hearts to this frail mama.
Lord, I ache to be the best mom my little ones could have. I long to be a gentle-spirited, loving mama whose teaching and training comes from your heart.
Today, Lord, help me to lean on your strength, to give you my heart, lay down my brokenness, and receive your grace. Help me, please, to be the mom you want me to be - through your Spirit.
Help me to delight in my little ones. To take JOY in them. To laugh with them, to love them utterly, just as they are. To nurture them with tenderness and whole-hearted thankfulness. Help me to love deeper when they are most unlovable. Help me to serve my children, to lay down my self-serving tendencies and give them all of me.
Help me to reach their hearts - to know them. Help me to guide them to your throne of grace.
Grant me wisdom to disciple them from your word and to know how and when correction, instruction, and discipline are needed. Help me to dazzle them with your great love - and to take every opportunity to remind them of your gospel. Help me to be soft of speech, gentle in spirit, affirming in my words, affectionate in my touch, and firm in my resolve.
Lord, this job is bigger than me, and I need you every moment of the day. Help me to remember that, too, and seek you often throughout the day. Help me to look for evidences of your goodness and mercy sprinkled throughout the mess, the chaos and the noise.
I love you, Jesus.
Amen.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Mama's Prayers
A couple of years ago, when Hope was a baby, I remember asking my husband if it would be okay if I stayed home from church on Mother's Day. I just wanted two hours, while Hope napped, where I could sit at the table, candle lit, and spread Bible, books, and notepad out before me. I was in a season where uninterrupted time to journal, read, and pray were hard to come by, and I craved those moments.
I have always struggled to pray unless I have a pen in my hand - at least to pray for any length of focused, intentional time. I shoot up quick arrows of heartfelt prayer often, but I can't pray for an hour unless I have a notebook in front of me. But - that isn't always possible. Even now, although I have older kiddos and am able to get up a bit earlier to meet with the Lord, there are days when that time is rushed. So, over the years I have come up with substitutes for concentrated prayer-journaling. And, as I anticipate the busyness of another newborn in late July, I know I will fall back on them again!
One is a key-ring of index cards with detailed prayer requests for people, situations, and global needs. I can flip through those prayer cards throughout the day, read over the bullet points or scrawled sentences, and sort of cover the bases of who and what I want to be praying for. I add to them often; my girls' are two-sided now because new items crop up constantly. If a prayer is answered (a friend gave birth to a healthy baby or a decision was made, or a missionary's need for funding was answered, or a potty-trainer succeeds in night dryness) then I etch the answer in beside the request and it reminds me to praise.
The idea for those prayer cards came from Paul Miller's book, A Praying Life, which I highly recommend. And, I have some fun, colorful templates that came from the blog Homeschool Creations.
I also love using scripted prayer. If I can't journal morning prayers, having a script to read through helps me immensely. When Hope was small and life was sleepless, I wrote out a few daily prayers and stuck them in my Bible. They are now stained, wrinkled, and scribbled on - but I still use them.
I thought I would share one of those scripts with you today - just in case you are in a season where a written prayer might benefit your heart.
Here is my "standby" prayer for my daughters.
Father in Heaven,
Thank you for the little hearts you have entrusted to our care. You have so blessed us!
God, I pray for the hearts of my little girls. I pray that you would draw them to you - reveal yourself to each of them. I pray that you would help them to understand their sinfulness, come to a heart of repentance, and receive your salvation. God, I ask that you would save my children!
I pray that they would spend their entire lives walking with you and their lives would be given in service to you - abandoned to you. I pray they would love your word, love your people, and follow hard after you all the days of their lives.
I pray that the gifts and talents you've given would be used for your glory, and that their weaknesses would be places for you to reveal your strength.
Lord, I pray for soft hearts, fertile soil to receive your word, and our instruction. I pray they would grow in obedience, to use and to you. I pray for the fruits of the Spirit to be seen in their lives - kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, love, patience, joy. I pray they would love one another and walk through each day as best friends. I pray for right choices and holy living that brings honor to your name. I pray for integrity, honesty, and a trustworthy reputation.
God, these hearts, so fresh from you, need so much molding, so much love, so much prayer. God, I pray their lives would bring you glory. Help me to be faithful in prayer for each one of them! They are yours!
Amen
I have always struggled to pray unless I have a pen in my hand - at least to pray for any length of focused, intentional time. I shoot up quick arrows of heartfelt prayer often, but I can't pray for an hour unless I have a notebook in front of me. But - that isn't always possible. Even now, although I have older kiddos and am able to get up a bit earlier to meet with the Lord, there are days when that time is rushed. So, over the years I have come up with substitutes for concentrated prayer-journaling. And, as I anticipate the busyness of another newborn in late July, I know I will fall back on them again!
One is a key-ring of index cards with detailed prayer requests for people, situations, and global needs. I can flip through those prayer cards throughout the day, read over the bullet points or scrawled sentences, and sort of cover the bases of who and what I want to be praying for. I add to them often; my girls' are two-sided now because new items crop up constantly. If a prayer is answered (a friend gave birth to a healthy baby or a decision was made, or a missionary's need for funding was answered, or a potty-trainer succeeds in night dryness) then I etch the answer in beside the request and it reminds me to praise.
The idea for those prayer cards came from Paul Miller's book, A Praying Life, which I highly recommend. And, I have some fun, colorful templates that came from the blog Homeschool Creations.
I also love using scripted prayer. If I can't journal morning prayers, having a script to read through helps me immensely. When Hope was small and life was sleepless, I wrote out a few daily prayers and stuck them in my Bible. They are now stained, wrinkled, and scribbled on - but I still use them.
I thought I would share one of those scripts with you today - just in case you are in a season where a written prayer might benefit your heart.
Here is my "standby" prayer for my daughters.
Father in Heaven,
Thank you for the little hearts you have entrusted to our care. You have so blessed us!
God, I pray for the hearts of my little girls. I pray that you would draw them to you - reveal yourself to each of them. I pray that you would help them to understand their sinfulness, come to a heart of repentance, and receive your salvation. God, I ask that you would save my children!
I pray that they would spend their entire lives walking with you and their lives would be given in service to you - abandoned to you. I pray they would love your word, love your people, and follow hard after you all the days of their lives.
I pray that the gifts and talents you've given would be used for your glory, and that their weaknesses would be places for you to reveal your strength.
Lord, I pray for soft hearts, fertile soil to receive your word, and our instruction. I pray they would grow in obedience, to use and to you. I pray for the fruits of the Spirit to be seen in their lives - kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, love, patience, joy. I pray they would love one another and walk through each day as best friends. I pray for right choices and holy living that brings honor to your name. I pray for integrity, honesty, and a trustworthy reputation.
God, these hearts, so fresh from you, need so much molding, so much love, so much prayer. God, I pray their lives would bring you glory. Help me to be faithful in prayer for each one of them! They are yours!
Amen
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Default to Choas
We just finished a glorious, two and a half week Spring Break. I know, if you live in another state, that seems crazy. But, as a friend said yesterday, in Jackson, during mud-season, after the long winter (actually, we didn't have much winter at all this year) a long break is needed. It was so wonderful to have my girls home. To have no homework. To pack picnics instead of school lunches. To stay in jammies until ten. To let them play. We were gone for six days in Utah, and then spent the remainder at home. The weather was pretty cruddy, but we managed a few bike rides, a hike, and some special girl outings: popcorn and the new Cinderella movie, a fancy lunch at a downtown restaurant, and a trip to the library.
I found myself thinking a lot about the daily routine of vacation, and how to provide balance in those lazy, carefree days. School (whether at home or away) provides so much structure. On a typical day, my little munchkins are at school from 8:15 - 3:20. When they get home, they have 1.5 - 2 hours of homework, so, between dinner, baths (okay, those only happen once a week!) bedtime stories, and a few chores, there is very little free playtime. When they were on break, I found myself just wanting to let them be. To let them keep the sleepy snaggles in their bedraggled hair, and not make them get dressed until they decided it was time to put on dress-up clothes for whatever game they were engaged in. I didn't want to impose a schedule. But you know what happens? At least in my house?
Free play gradually unravels into utter chaos. And then Mommy has to firmly reestablish some boundaries. We have to get dressed. We have to brush our teeth. And I have to organize and direct some sort of productive activity in order to regain order and control in our wild house.
Does that happen in your homes? Oh, freedom is good. Our little ones need to learn to play. On their own. Imaginatively. Together. But, too much freedom is not good. Because the game of "Little House on the Prairie" becomes dresses strewn across bedrooms and breadcrumbs in empty bureau drawers. And fighting children who just want to drink cocoa in their bedrooms, not pretend to be children from another time period. I find my silverware under the bed, and a box of just-organized 3T clothes scattered hither and yon. I realize someone put an old diaper on the littlest one - because they were playing she was the baby.
So, how do you find balance? How do you allow for free play and spontaneity and joy - while still implementing a gentle and life-giving structure in your home? I was processing all of this, and thinking ahead to summer. I am so happy I will have time with my girls and we will play outside and adventure together. But, I know that, for all of us to stay sane, we have to have a bit of a routine.
Maybe it starts with getting dressed. Making beds. Combing hair. Maybe it's a few morning tasks to check off on a list before they can play. Maybe it's lining up time slots for particular activities - and limiting the free for all to certain times of the day. Maybe it's the afternoon reading time that anchors the day.
Motherhood always seems to throw new challenges at us, doesn't it? In the next weeks, I am going to spend time pondering how to best provide a gentle rhythm for our summer - tethered by chores and jobs and planned adventures and books. I know my girls need clear expectations and a bit of flexible structure, or we will just default to chaos. And I don't like chaos. :)
How do you structure "off" days for your kiddos? What are the secrets to managing your home life well during seasons of greater freedom? Any thoughts?
I found myself thinking a lot about the daily routine of vacation, and how to provide balance in those lazy, carefree days. School (whether at home or away) provides so much structure. On a typical day, my little munchkins are at school from 8:15 - 3:20. When they get home, they have 1.5 - 2 hours of homework, so, between dinner, baths (okay, those only happen once a week!) bedtime stories, and a few chores, there is very little free playtime. When they were on break, I found myself just wanting to let them be. To let them keep the sleepy snaggles in their bedraggled hair, and not make them get dressed until they decided it was time to put on dress-up clothes for whatever game they were engaged in. I didn't want to impose a schedule. But you know what happens? At least in my house?
Free play gradually unravels into utter chaos. And then Mommy has to firmly reestablish some boundaries. We have to get dressed. We have to brush our teeth. And I have to organize and direct some sort of productive activity in order to regain order and control in our wild house.
Does that happen in your homes? Oh, freedom is good. Our little ones need to learn to play. On their own. Imaginatively. Together. But, too much freedom is not good. Because the game of "Little House on the Prairie" becomes dresses strewn across bedrooms and breadcrumbs in empty bureau drawers. And fighting children who just want to drink cocoa in their bedrooms, not pretend to be children from another time period. I find my silverware under the bed, and a box of just-organized 3T clothes scattered hither and yon. I realize someone put an old diaper on the littlest one - because they were playing she was the baby.
So, how do you find balance? How do you allow for free play and spontaneity and joy - while still implementing a gentle and life-giving structure in your home? I was processing all of this, and thinking ahead to summer. I am so happy I will have time with my girls and we will play outside and adventure together. But, I know that, for all of us to stay sane, we have to have a bit of a routine.
Maybe it starts with getting dressed. Making beds. Combing hair. Maybe it's a few morning tasks to check off on a list before they can play. Maybe it's lining up time slots for particular activities - and limiting the free for all to certain times of the day. Maybe it's the afternoon reading time that anchors the day.
Motherhood always seems to throw new challenges at us, doesn't it? In the next weeks, I am going to spend time pondering how to best provide a gentle rhythm for our summer - tethered by chores and jobs and planned adventures and books. I know my girls need clear expectations and a bit of flexible structure, or we will just default to chaos. And I don't like chaos. :)
How do you structure "off" days for your kiddos? What are the secrets to managing your home life well during seasons of greater freedom? Any thoughts?
Friday, April 3, 2015
Utah
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