At about 1030 every morning, this is the scene in my home. Elisa is struggling to stay on task and complete her Horizons Math. I am sitting on the couch with Sadie, helping her to sound out words in her careful and methodical (read S.L.O.W.) way. Raina is hollering from the bathroom, asking me to wipe her bottom. Every couple of minutes, Elisa shouts, "Mom, can you help?" and I remind her that she is supposed to finish what she can and then show me the problem areas when she is DONE. She can usually figure it out if she slows down and reads the instructions. Sadie is easily distractable, and, although she is doing terrific with her reading, the interruptions are super-frustrating to her. The dryer beeps. Raina has washed her hands, but for some reason the water is still running. And where is Hope? Awake from her nap, nursing a bit distractedly on one breast as I move from room to room to settle the morning's issues. Yup.
I have to admit, I have spent much of the last seven months feeling OVERWHELMED. Yes, I am managing. The house is still (mostly) presentable. There is food on the table if not much stocked in the cupboards. We are on schedule to finish our school year in mid-June. But I have felt like a drowning mama - just with eyes and forehead above water, grasping for a frantic breath every few minutes. You know what I mean? Nothing is ever done. Nothing is ever quiet. I haven't felt organized or prepared or deeply intentional the way that I like to.
I realized the other day that maybe I just need to change my perspective a bit. Wear a different set of glasses, so to speak. To realize that I may feel overwhelmed, but I am not. God has not given me more than I can handle. All of this is blessing overflowing. So -- in those moments of chaos when I feel I am drowning.... I need to say to myself, "I am NOT overwhelmed. I am blessed and I am thankful!"